”Reframe” är engelska och betyder att ”rama in på nytt” . (”re” betyder igen, och ”frame” betyder rama in.) En ”inramning” påverkar hur vi upplever en tavla. På samma sätt kan man, genom att byta hur man ser på något, ofta sig själv, påverka hur man upplever sig själv och sina möjligheter, förväntningar. Nedan finns lite saker som FEFT practitioners har diskuterat som behandlar detta. Jag har inte översatt detta ännu.
What are your top FEFT reframes?
Eric Robins:
To be honest, during my own personal experiences being the client, I feel that unless I am stuck, the less said, the better. So Robert G. Smiths original, ”let it go, just let it go, its okay to let it go, its safe to let it go” works great.
Beyond that, these are some others that seem to work. Also, as with classical EFT, I’ve found that the reframes tend to stick more after a few rounds of generalized tapping has brought the SUDS level down some. Here goes:
1) you’re here now safe, you made it through
2) perhaps they (the perpetrator) meant whatever they said differently than you interpreted it as a young child
3) attack the perpetrator with a gross exaggeration: ”You should believe everything they said because, afterall, they had their life so together”
4) use the emotion against itself, i.e. ”its sad to be sad” (RGS uses this alot)
5) ”do you think when your mom/dad was a little kid, they grew up thinking, ’I want my kid to think I’m an asshole’? Or were they acting that way towards you because they were actually scared, or wanted to protect you; and they really loved you?”
6) its time to take back your power from this event
7) since they (the perpetrator) isn’t here now, when you think about it now and it bothers you, its actually you doing it to you. Would you like to change that
8) RGS is fond of telling the client that they have the same attributes as the original perpetrator. If the client was judged by their father, for example, he’ll tell them, ”You are really judging your father now. You’re an expert at judging.”
9) your fear/anger doesn’t protect you. When a person is scared, they are in fight or flight response. The pupils narrow down and you get tunnel vision, you aren’t aware of your surroundings. Most of the blood flow to your brain shuts down so you think less clearly. Your muscles are tense and tight and you are less flexible and more prone to injury.
10) tell a short metaphor. I’ll post a couple that I use that carry a big bang for the buck in sessions, in another posting
Grace: They had their problems and I’m letting go of mine today.”
”These are my feelings, I created them, and I can change them.”
I survived this.
1) You’re no longer 5/7/10 years old anymore, you couldn’t fit into the clothes even if you tried! 2) He really did love me, the best way he knew how 3) The past is over, I choose to keep the wisdom, 4)Your mum/dad had their own writing on their wall, they did the best they could, based on their own parents/upbringing. 5) I know your changing and seeing things differently.
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Mandy Moore”I’m keeping him close by loving myself the way he loved me.”
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Marina Bajszár Here are a few that come up in sessions: Specific belief’s or labels: ”I am so smart to know how stupid I am!” or ”I’m so clear about being confused!”For sensations in the body:
”Thank you body for letting me know what I need to let go.”
”It’s just a sensation I label as bad. It’s coming up so I can let it go”
”It really wants to let me go so I let it go.”
”It’s okay to let this fade away, dissolve and disappear.”
Carl D: ”you are your parents ’gift’ to the World”
Church:
I need to stop beating myself up over my past
when i feel guilty for what happened im choosing to be emotionally trapped in my past
I may feel that i need to be punished for what i did
I choose to stop taking the emotional poision of ? ( fill in the ? )
I give myself permission to free myself from this emotional prison
I am the one who is choosing to punish myself in this way, that is my experience
when I am able to free myself, I am able to make better choices in my future
I can recognize the ways I overreact in these circumstances
some things in my life I don’t control, but one thing I do control is my choice
because I have screwed up so much in the past i deserve to suffer
feeling this way is my punishment to myself
I am worthy of not being stuck in my past
I am worthy of the freedom that comes with forgiving myself
I don’t have to constantly beat myself up when i make mistakes
good questions!
Setting up for after session
Mark Wieczorek I think this post is interesting because clients have a belief about their change, how they can/cannot change. When will enough change occur to mean change is real. I think NLP refers to this as an evidence procedure.
What I especially like about this is that it puts some responsibility on the practitioners plan for this and help the client before they get to that point.
I think developing questions for this would be helpful:
What would be different enough that you would feel your change is complete and permanent?
What would have to happen for you to tell others about your change?
How would people closest to you perceive you if you told them you had made huge changes about this issue?
Another question or model to present to them: ”John, clients have 3 mains ways of noticing change, one way is to almost ignore all the changes and improvements and look for how things haven’t changed, another way is to play devil’s advocate seeing changes and trying to equally see how things haven’t change, and the last is really paying attention to the positive changes and everything that supports them? John, which client to you expect will get the fastest and most lasting results?
(I like this one a lot – I think it offers them a choice of models of the world.)
I believe telling them what to look for is very important. It may be important to think of a better setup before sessions. Derren Brown’s Placebo experiment shows us how important it is to build the case for change. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CU52YAgFxX0 Our clients walk in with some sort of expectation… I realized the other day that part of what helps Robert achieve phenomenal and permanent results in workshops in such a short time in addition to his skills and talent is the set up. If I am a client/student and have watched videos online and seen changes, when I sit in the chair with Robert I follow what I’ve seen, which is fast and profound changes. That’s one helpful trance!
How can we build better trances before they come for change is a valuable exercise…
no feelings
How do you feel about not being able to feel?
Suggest that the problem might already have gone and see how he argues with that. (Erik Z)
How DOES he know he has a problem? Possibly take him back to the moment he decided to book the session(s). What was going on for him then? Erik Z
A great indicator is ideomotor response. Have him go inside and use his left arm as a signal. Ask him as the feelings get stronger is left arm will start to raise, only at the rate and speed that he senses them in the body. You can then use the position of the arm as a SUD’S level. Tap and notice the arm coming down to zero. I use left arm as its associated with right hemisphere of the brain (emotions etc) Carl D
Julie Cave If he can remember what it felt like, but isn’t recreating the feelings on demand, maybe asking him to ’pretend’ he’s right there in the event and even ’pretend’ he’s feeling an emotion, or imagine what he felt like? (and tap on his fear/belief he can’t feel it at the right time of course). The non-visual me sometimes feels (self)presurised to be able to ’do’ the images and strong emotions in a session and that just blocks them. Is he scared of showing his feelings with another present, or of not being able to access them? Being told it’s ok NOT to need to feel them strongly may take some pressure off? And steering well clear of visual instructions and focusing on body sensations is great too, the strongest flip I’ve yet experienced was when Jane Orton deliberately stuck to my primary tonal/kinesthetic modes, but I’ve recently started playing with IMAGINING there are changes to the original memory, such as imagining I’ve added in a cat in an odd position…that way I don’t have to SEE something has changed, but I can use my spatial awareness to imagine there’s something different. I can’t see the cat, I just know it’s now there. Sometimes I’ll use imagining being hugged, that’s also a good one for a non-visual.
Trigger feelings by using someone they care about. Diedre
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- let it go… let it go’
- ”I made it through”
- ”I survived this…”
- Your no longer 5/7/10 years old anymore you couldn’t fit into the clothes even if you tried!
- He really did love me, the best way he knew how
- The past is over, I choose to keep the wisdom,
- Your mum/dad had their own writing on their wall, they did the best they could, based on their own parents/upbringing.
- I know your changing and seeing things differently.
- “I’m keeping him close by loving myself the way he loved me.”
- “I used to get it right when I was getting it wrong.”
- “I let go of all regrets. It all worked out perfectly.”
- “It’s served its purpose; it’s no longer useful.”
- ”I am so smart to know how stupid I am!”
- ”I’m so clear about being confused!”
- ”Thank you body for letting me know what I need to let go.”
- ”It’s just a sensation I label as bad. It’s coming up so I can let it go”
- ”It really wants to let me go so I let it go.”
- ”It’s okay to let this fade away, dissolve and disappear.”
- ”that was then and this is now”
- ”I’m doing this to myself”
- ”They had their problems and I’m letting go of mine today.”
- ”These are my feelings, I created them, and I can change them.”
- it’s safe to let go of the fear and keep the wisdom.
- The past is over and I am here now.
- they have their problems but I am letting go of mine
- they loved me the way someone loved them and I am improving my love
- feeling how I really feel is my first step in moving forward to how i want to feel within me
- I need to stop beating myself up over my past
- when I feel guilty for what happened I’m choosing to be emotionally trapped in my past
- I may feel that i need to be punished for what I did
- I choose to stop taking the emotional poison of ? ( fill in the ? )
- I give myself permission to free myself from this emotional prison
- I am the one who is choosing to punish myself in this way that is my experience
- when I am able to be free myself I am able to make better choices in my future
- I can recognise the ways I over react in these circumstances
- some things in my life I don’t control, but one thing I do control is my choice
- because I have screwed up so much in the past I deserve to suffer
- feeling this way is my punishment to myself
- I am worthy of not being stuck in my past
- I am worthy of the freedom that comes with forgiving myself
- I don’t have to constantly beat myself up when I make mistakes
- I’m just like him/her
- ”you are your parents ’gift’ to the World”
- ”using their yard stick to measure me
- ”they couldn’t give me what they didn’t have ’
- ”they couldn’t teach me what they didn’t know themselves ’
- .they loved me the way they loved themselves ’
- it’s safe to graduate their system
- somebody did it to them
- I ’m so glad I m here with (your name) now to let it all go !
- It’s not fear that’s protecting me but calm awareness/clear vigilance
- This happened, its over, I’m ok and I can let it all go now.
- I can make peace with all the places in my mind body and life where this is stored.
- ” I put up the wall I can just as easily take it down”
- ”I’m going to take my power back over this event”
- ”Whatever it means, I don’t need it anymore”
- I release my anger
- I forgive that little girl (or boy)She was hurt She didn’t know how to let it go, but I can
- Hear those words Let go of those words It’s safe to let go of those words I’m going to miss those words I’ve been entertaining myself with those words for a long time
- So she had it worse than you – how does it feel that she did a better job?
- It’s OK for me to be OK
- Those awful wonderful chairs
- I say I don’t want it but I’m sure I do
- Feel the love you have for your mum and send it to her
- It’s time to love me
- It’s safe to heal this part of me
- Release the bad stuff and keep the good
- Even though he’s a sorry dog, I’m the one feeling the ‘sorry dog’ feelings. I release and let it go.
- When is now a good time to let it go?
- I release and let it go at the unconscious level
- I release the past
- At that time I did the best I could
- ”that was their/his/her problem and it isn’t yours to carry, LET IT GO” ♥
- I forgive my body it was only following my mind…
- ”I/he/she did the best I/they could with the knowledge and skills that I/they had at that time … just as I’m doing the best I can with the knowledge and skills I have right now”
Future pacing
advice on reimprinting a fear of what may or may not happen in the future,
Vee Evans What Barb said. Also use the phrases ’the past is over, and I can do it a different way now’ which helps reinforce that they have a choice. Also it is often helpful to bring in whatever resources they may need to make sure they are safe and protected doing it a different way!
Krysia Bamford You did well setting up a positive future. Find out what were the positive emotions she felt with the positive image. This now can be her homework. As soon as she wakes up before any negatives pop in get her to replay and FEEL those images and good feelings. Then to do it a few times through the course of the day after tapping put any negative issues. This way she is telling the subconscious mind that she is in charge and things are going to change her way.
